The Importance of Truth and Self-Discipline
(Pranananda delivered this discourse by way of a correspondence with one of his disciples.)
Having recently spent a few days with my parents has brought up a lot for me, and I am feeling a tremendous amount of pain and sadness. I allowed myself to be consumed by my Mum's thoughts about how I should be living my life—she, being the voice of my ego, and me, just wanting to run away from everything and have all the things that “I want” and not what God wants for me.
It feels like my family have all split off and gone in separate directions. I am so scared and so hurt that my family has become this way. My Mum’s sister is not even speaking to my parents anymore, and she didn’t want to come and see me while I was there. I see my Mum and her avoidance of the truth and the pain it causes her. I see her husband just allowing her to manipulate and control him. I worry about them so much, I worry about their marriage, and I see and hear his confusion and pain of denying that part of himself that so desperately wants to be with God. Mum just puts a lid on it all; she won’t even allow him to display Your photo in the house.
I feel completely heart broken, and I feel myself wanting to be there for them to protect them and reach out to them. I miss them so much. I feel somewhat desperate and distressed because I just don't know how or if I can get through this one; it just feels so big.
I feel really bad writing to You time after time, talking of all this sadness, because in my heart I trust You and I know I am in the right place. My mind just feels a bit crazy at times and I feel clouded over with emotions, and it makes me feel so far away from God.
I just miss my parents so much, and I worry about them all the time. I feel very resistant to the situation that we are in as a family, and at this time do not feel the blessing it is gifting me. I am overwhelmed and do not know what to do.
Thank You for listening to my cry and holding me up when I feel I cannot go on.
I love You.
- Your loving disciple
Thank you for your letter. As for your perceived “plight” regarding your parents, it is important to remember that it is not your job to “fix” them. They are big boys and girls; and their problems existed long, long before they ever met me. It has been through the Master’s grace that their problems have now been illuminated and exposed for them to finally heal them. Please remember: All of what they are experiencing was going to happen anyway, had they never met me.
The Guru illuminates and accelerates the (inevitable) destiny of every soul.
Your mother and aunt have been battling with mental and emotional illness since years before you were even born, and none of it has anything to do with you (aside from your having great compassion and caring for them, all of which is both beautiful and proper). Their problems and sadness came from their childhoods. And now they are forced—thank God—to have to face what they have avoided all their lives.
By exiling the Guru from their lives (Gu-ru = one who leads others out of darkness), they have pushed away the help which they prayed long and hard for God to send to them, and left themselves with a now-larger version of the problem. This is tantamount to going in for a triple by-pass, open-heart surgery after suffering with a life-threatening condition for years, and then jumping off the table in the middle of the surgery—running down the street, screaming, with tubes, pipes, and human entrails dragging behind.
I was, and still am, in the middle of performing this restorative heart surgery (except without a scalpel, drugs, or scars) on your parents and on all who have called out to me in pain. Some choose to courageously stay on the operating table, despite their fears; and others choose to play out the cowardly and more painful scenario depicted above. I, however, do not have that option. My surgery continues, regardless of the patients’ choices. Thus, I am working with whatever my beloveds bring to the (operating) table.
Your Mum’s husband has been battling with his fear, and lack of courage and personal conviction all of his life, ever since he was a child and his parents (wittingly and/or unwittingly) saw to removing every shred of it from his being. He now has the perfect recipe—at his request (a very important factor for you to remember!)—for reclaiming that crucial part of himself. Without it, he is relegated to continue living as a shell of a man.
He took his Guru’s picture down (not your mother) because he has placed his wife before God, and this is why he walks in this world with such an all-pervading sadness in his face and aura (recall the First Commandment, delivered by Moses when he came down from Mt. Sinai: “I am the Lord, your God. Place no false gods before Me.”) Eventually, your Dad will put God first, and neither his wife nor anyone is going to stop him. He has not betrayed me, only himself.
Your role is to love your parents, not fix them. And you are in the best geographical and spiritual location to learn how to better do that, while protecting yourself from their same fate. Be happy for them, and be happy for yourself. I am taking care of all of you. Trust. Your living and training where you are IS the best help you could ever give them, and it is sourcing them more than you will ever know.
I am also sending (to live with you) one of your dearest angel friends in the Cosmos, to source a kindred soul. You two have much in common, and you will be a great support for one another. This will bring you both great joy.
As you can see, all is in order. All is in perfection. And it just may be that your parents will separate. Your Mum’s husband is too hooked into what I call “God or Bust” consciousness. He has seen too much; he knows too much of what is available and of what is calling him. He has come too far to turn his back and walk away. How fortunate for him. It is now only a matter of time. He is like a spaceship which has entered the gravitational field (and pull) of the Sun.
This same fate will happen to every soul at some point in a given lifetime—your Mum, too. It doesn’t matter when it happens. It happens when it is time. None are “better” or further “ahead” because it has happened to them. It means nothing in and of itself. It is just an “Is-ness.” And right now, your Mum is pretty adamant about not wanting help, as well as about trying to quell her husband’s hunger for God-realization and freedom from the madness and suffering, the latter of which is ultimately fueling his fire and passion for God even more (though neither of them knows that) and will only serve to further accelerate the inevitable—even in my physical absence.
…So, you see, it was never about me. Blaming others is only another excuse people give themselves to continue avoiding facing themselves and their own pain.
The Guru is the cure to your problems,
not the cause of them.
What you really need to do is to keep re-reading this letter and all those gushing-from-the-heart letters you have sent me in the past; the ones devoid of your current lapse into madness and fear. Please… use this letter and those others as your Bible!! Read them over and over and over, and especially when you go into the “crazy” place---especially then! Furthermore, I highly suggest that you immerse yourself in my teachings: lose yourself in our website—audio discourses, written ones, photos; listen to our various products, discourses, and tapes of retreats… over and over and over. And, very importantly, transcribe some of those same tapes, which are your own training into self-mastery. By doing so, you will be receiving not only my wisdom and love, but my very darshan (vibration) in more ways than you could from any other means, short of being in my physical presence. Transcribing IS the fast track for those who do not live with me. Finally, stop indulging your mind. Shut it off. It often gets in the way, more than it helps.
Lend credence to the illusion
and you become the illusion.
I can help you; I can source you; I can guide you… but I cannot do it for you. You must discipline yourself to stay focused on the truth, and you must be obedient to Divine guidance in order to uplift and transform your life. How many people do you know who pay a fortune to go see the best doctor in the world to treat their condition, after suffering long and searching everywhere for help, then receive the diagnosis and subsequent prescription, then go home and throw it away and later tell all their friends he was a lousy doctor (just because the condition or ailment still haunts and troubles them)? Answer: None. By the same token, how many do the very same when it comes to following the advice (i.e. taking the prescription) that their Guru—the Doctor of all doctors—gives them? Answer: 90%.
You, my beloved, have now finally and very masterfully succeeded in surrounding yourself with ones who are strong in their faith, in their devotion, and in their loyalty. Talk to them! During my own training, I had to cut myself off from my parents and siblings for close to two years. It was far too difficult to do what I had to do while enduring (what I then perceived as) their lack of support. Yes, I felt some guilt, too; but I knew the Truth, and I was not willing to betray that!
Please do not expect me to keep writing this same letter to you, again and again, every time you choose to pretend you have seen and learned nothing. Discipline yourself. Make a file of all our correspondence, yours and mine, and read it next time you choose to go “belly up.” Reach out for help from those who are right next to you! You may write to me anytime you wish. I will read all your letters, and I love them. I simply will not keep writing this same message to you if you are unwilling to help yourself. IF YOU FOLLOW MY GUIDANCE, I WILL LEAD YOU TO THE LAND OF PEACE, FREEDOM, AND FULFILLMENT—like you could never imagine.
My last words are these: You (like so many others) came to me so that you would not end up, ten or twenty years from now, in the same predicament and circumstances as your parents. Remember that! That is not your plight or your destiny, and you would be letting them down if you give up on yourself, too. Be strong. You can do this, and you will be victorious.
I believe in you!
With my eternal love,