How do I stop hurting my children?
Q: I need to put my own hurts and pains around my upbringing aside so that I allow room in my heart and in my consciousness for my children. I have projected all over my children, and have felt that I have been suffocating them out of my own fears and wounds. Yet, the other day, I simply made a decision to be loving in every moment. Can You give me any insights?
A: You have it backwards! It is by loving your children and serving them, caring for them, that you vicariously heal all the hurts, pains, and wounds from your own childhood. This is the antithesis of “pushing yourself aside” (i.e. repressing your pain); instead, you use your wounds and pain as the impetus and inspiration to be the best, most loving father these children could ever have wanted. It is in this way that you heal those wounds. When you repress your wounds and issues, you automatically amplify them and pass them on to your children.
The cure for projecting your negativity onto your children is not projecting on them, and it is as easy as that! Go buy yourself a punching bag, and you can hit (project on) that or go out for a jog whenever you feel the need or desire to vent your anger and frustration.
Choosing to be love is also remarkably easy, not to mention its being your natural state, as created in God’s image. It takes infinitely more effort and energy to be non-loving than to be loving—said effort also being the primary cause of most all aging and disease that afflicts one’s otherwise immortal body and soul.